Category Archives: Jeff Tedford, World’s Greatest Lover

Jeff Tedford, World’s Greatest Lover: Valentine’s Day

By Jeff Tedford

Gentlemen. You know what tomorrow is. This coaching staff has spent far too many hours bombarding you with information about tomorrow; they’ve spent twice that many hours thinking about that same information, about how to get it to you, how to package it so you’ll understand the urgency of what just 24 hours will bring, about how to distill its essence, to – if you will – market tomorrow to you, today.

You know the importance. I don’t have to stress that, and I’ve never been one for speeches. Tomorrow is big enough by itself to get you motivated. There is nothing I can say or do to get you more mentally and spiritually ready for what you’re about to face. Instead, I simply want to reiterate what we’ve gone through. Not for your sake, gentlemen, but for my own. Because tomorrow you’ll go out and play your hearts out without a care in the world. I miss that. I’d give anything to be out there with you, fighting a common foe with my hands and my heart. No, tomorrow I’ll be on the sideline, and I’m the one who’ll need reminders about what needs to be done. By “sidelines” I mean special guest expert on Good Morning America, Oprah and the Colbert Report, but you know just as well as I do that they all mean the same thing anyway: I’m gonna be the guy who looks like he knows what he’s doing so other people can get the doing done. So I’m gonna remind myself right here in front of you, on the eve of battle, and you’re gonna listen and tell me what I’ve missed.

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Jeff Tedford, World’s Greatest Lover: Scouting the bar

By Jeff Tedford

Some people say that scouting bars is not a science, that you can’t quantify the quality, the measurables, the intangibles of the women at your local watering hole – and that even if you do “quantify” those very things, the numbers and data you’ve produced aren’t the whole story. Some people say that scouting bars is overrated.

Those people will never average 37.3 digits per weekend like I did in 2004. In Berkeley.

Listen up: scouting the bar isn’t a science, but neither is it voodoo. This is the world’s cruelest arena we’re talking about. I’m not here to give you guarantees or infallible formulas. Those things don’t exist in this environment. You’ve got to show up every day with your lunchpail and your time card or you’ll never get anywhere. There’s a million other guys out there who want your job, and they’ve got wingmen just like you do. I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be easy, because it won’t.

But I will tell you this: if you take the time to scout the bar, you’re enabling success for you and your team on Saturdays. Fridays and Thursdays, too.

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