Category Archives: Blogpoll

Blogpoll, courtesy of Phil Knight

Rank Team Delta
1 Ohio State 1
2 LSU 1
3 Oregon
4 Arizona State 2
5 Boston College 1
6 West Virginia 5
7 Kansas 2
8 Oklahoma 1
9 Missouri 1
10 Georgia 16
11 Boise State 5
12 Connecticut 12
13 Michigan 4
14 Virginia Tech 2
15 Alabama 3
16 Tennessee 10
17 Wisconsin 9
18 Southern Cal 5
19 Auburn 7
20 Hawaii 3
21 Texas 5
22 Wake Forest 4
23 South Florida 13
24 South Carolina 10
25 Florida 16

Dropped Out: Kentucky (#15), Rutgers (#19), Virginia (#20), California (#21), Penn State (#22), UCLA (#25).

Georgia. Every Gator fan I talked to hated what Georgia did after their first touchdown. Understandable. But I was there, and it was incredible. It was a much more intense – spoken in the voice of Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords – version of UCLA charging the field at the Rose Bowl in 2006, begging USC to just come on and fight them. USC and Florida, athletically, were better than the teams that beat them. USC and Florida both mounted attempts to get themselves pumped up, but no response could ever be effective as that initial moment of “Wow, those guys really want it.” Georgia’s record outside of the Fulmer mugging looks pretty good – and they now lead the SEC East.

UConn! I’m a believer. Nice win. Unbelievably, Syracuse is the least intimidating of a remaining schedule consisting of Rutgers, Cincy, the Orangemen and West Virginia.

I still don’t know what to do about Texas. Peter Bean should stop complaining about rankings, since the ‘Horns had to come from behind to beat the worst Nebraska team in half a century – but, hey, they are 7-2.

This poll makes me want to cry. Michigan – without Henne and Hart – is somehow a consensus top-15 team despite the two worse losses of the season’s opening couplet. I, too, don’t know what to do with them. Oregon and Arizona State are the cream of the Pac-10? Ohio State is somehow number one again? (I have a feeling it’ll be just like Oklahoma circa 2003-2004: unanimous #1 suffers humiliating end of season, surges back to BCS title game, suffers humiliating end of season….) Poor Hawai’i can’t schedule anyone, so I’m stuck wondering what to do with them. And Mark Mangino gets to wear whatever the damn hell he pleases because his team is undefeated.

But at least there’s the Sun Bowl! Ahhh, El Paso. So lovely in late December. I doubt USC ends up at what’s apparently now called the Brut Sun Bowl (3rd place Pac-10 team), but that doubt is based on my belief that the Trojans will beat Oregon State, Cal, Arizona State and UCLA, because I am an unrepentant homer. The winner of the Oregon-ASU game is the obvious front runner for the Rose and an almost surreal darkhorse for the BCS title game; with the addition of the fifth BCS game who knows what the hell is going to happen. The loss to Oregon hurt, but it wasn’t a surprise. (See: We lost to fucking Stanford?!) It’s still possible for USC to be in a BCS game without winning the Pac-10, especially with the SOS improving considerably in the latter thirdĀ of the schedule. But, again, the Sun Bowl is also a possibility. Sad smiley goes here.

And in case anyone was wondering, Everywhere Else > El Paso.


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Blogpoll week 10? I seriously need to find out what week it is.

Rank Team Delta
1 LSU 4
2 Ohio State
3 Oregon 5
4 Boston College
5 Kansas 7
6 Arizona State 3
7 Oklahoma 4
8 Missouri 7
9 Florida 9
10 South Florida 9
11 West Virginia 5
12 Virginia Tech 1
13 Southern Cal 11
14 South Carolina 8
15 Kentucky 4
16 Boise State 2
17 Michigan 5
18 Alabama 8
19 Rutgers 7
20 Virginia 5
21 California 14
22 Penn State 4
23 Hawaii 4
24 Connecticut 2
25 UCLA 1

Dropped Out: Texas Tech (#10), Cincinnati (#17), Texas (#20), Tennessee (#21), Auburn (#23).

Double digit Pac-10 movement?! I am a lush! Cal goes plummeting thanks to back to back losses to the teams that beat the Trojans last year, and USC goes skyrocketing because of a beat down of lowly Notre Dame? I know, seems kinda weird but hear me out:

I still think Cal is scary good, but in two losses the big duo of Desean Jackson (Oregon State) and Nate Longshore (UCLA) each had epic misfires. Jackson’s no-show against the Beavers was particularly troubling since, well, he’s from another planet and as such ought to have used lasers and mind bullets and whatever else is available to the Martian Manhunter, including garish overalls. Cal’s stars just aren’t doing much.

So why does USC jump up so high after beating poor, poor Notre Dame into the ground? Two words: Mark Sanchez. I already said it and am completely unashamed: he makes me tingly.

LSU. Yeah, I know Ohio State didn’t lose. But they didn’t impress. I don’t know what to make of Les Miles’ gigantic testicles, but I do know that I’m impressed.

The bottom three: they’re all very much tenuous. Hawai’i has been free falling due to epic built up spiritual guilt at having initially placed them higher even though they’ve played no one and played them close. The fair catch that wasn’t was one of the worst calls I’ve ever seen, but then again I’ve always loved cheaters so UConn makes its debut! And UCLA. Oh, UCLA. When the Bruins take a Xanax and maybe some bourbon they calm down enough to be good. And then they do things like lose to Wyoming and Notre Dame.

Alabama surprised the hell out of me. Having seen their offense live, I cannot believe they scored more than 40-points on what is apparently the worst Vol defense of all time. I still can’t believe they forced overtime against Georgia. Conclusion: Nick Saban is once again wearing a clown costume, haunting my nightmares.

Everything else was assembled by asking Shanna, the Virginia Tech football game score predicting cow. She is also a serviceable Scrabble partner.

Shanna, coincidentally, refuses to pick a BC-VT score until she finds out whether Tyrod Taylor is gonna play. I, on the other hand, feel perfectly fine saying that Thursday at Lane Stadium is a bad place to be for people not named Beamer. Virginia Tech 27, Boston College 20.

Cue that entrance.


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Blogpoll week… 8?

Rank Team Delta
1 South Florida 2
2 Ohio State 3
3 Oklahoma 8
4 Boston College 2
5 LSU 4
6 South Carolina 2
7 California 5
8 Oregon 2
9 Arizona State
10 Texas Tech 10
11 Kentucky 12
12 Kansas 2
13 Virginia Tech 5
14 Boise State 1
15 Missouri 11
16 West Virginia 1
17 Cincinnati 10
18 Florida 8
19 Hawaii 7
20 Texas 6
21 Tennessee 5
22 Michigan 4
23 Auburn 1
24 Southern Cal 2
25 Virginia 1

Dropped Out: Illinois (#13), Florida State (#16), Indiana (#19), Wisconsin (#21), Texas A&M (#22), Wyoming (#25).

Aghhhhhhhh. In some respects: best season ever to go a-road-trippin’. In others, like the fact that I just can’t watch that many games on TV… well, I feel like I’m missing out on the mayhem. Then again: I’ve seen 9 of my Top 25 live.

I guess the biggest question here is: why do I have South Florida number one and not, say, Ohio State (who’s just been destroying people) or Boston College (featuring a QB I can’t help but have a mancrush on) or Arizona State (a team I suspect as being sorta kinda meandering along fooling us into thinking “Top 10 material!!!”) or anyone else? Because South Florida’s defense scared the living bejeebus out of me. They were so impressive it’s made a huge lasting impression resulting in me ranking them above Ohio State for several weeks now. This will all be rectified by this coming Thursday when the Bulls play Rutgers and I see what’s up. Also: I’ll be at the Wisconsin-Ohio State game and the Va. Tech-BC game. So that should cast light on any lingering doubts.

And aaaaaagh PSU and Michigan. What to do with you? I still believe in Morelli’s inherent inability despite the Wisconsin beat down, so there you go: when in doubt, side with Hart.

Road trip update: I think I’m sitting at 7,000 miles, give or take a few hundred here or there. States visited are in this order: California, Arizona, Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Tennessee, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, District of Columbia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana. I have gained a good 10 lbs., which is unsurprising given that my main three exercise routines are drinking, eating and driving. And walking to towing companies.

And for anyone unsure what my schedule is:

Saturday, September 1st
Colorado State at Colorado (Denver, CO, Mile High Stadium); 10:00 AM

Saturday, September 8th
Miami (Fla) at Oklahoma (Norman, OK); 12:00 PM

Saturday, September 15th
USC at Nebraska (Lincoln, NE); 8:00 PM

Thursday, September 20th
Western Kentucky at Middle Tennessee State (Murfreesboro, TN); 7:00 PM

Saturday, September 22nd
Georgia at Alabama (Tuscaloosa, AL); TBA

Friday, September 28th
West Virginia at South Florida (Tampa, FL); 8:00 PM

Saturday, September 29th
Auburn at Florida (Gainesville, FL); TBA

Thursday, October 4
Kentucky at South Carolina (Columbia, SC); 7:30 PM

Saturday, October 6
Virginia Tech at Clemson, (Clemson, SC); TBA

Wednesday, October 10
Navy at Pittsburgh (Pittsburgh, PA); 8:00 PM

Saturday, October 13
Wisconsin at Penn State (State College, PA); 3:30 PM

Saturday, October 20
USC at Notre Dame (South Bend, IN); 3:30 PM

Thursday, October 25
Boston College at Virginia Tech (Blacksburg, VA); 7:30 PM

Saturday, October 27
South Carolina at Tennessee (Knoxville, TN); TBA [First choice?]
Florida at Georgia (Jacksonville, FL); TBA [Second choice? Agh. Get back to me on this one.]

Sunday, October 28
UCF at Southern Miss (Hattiesburg, MS); 8:00 PM

Saturday, November 3
Wisconsin at Ohio State (Columbus, OH); TBA

Tuesday, November 6
Central Michigan at Western Michigan (Kalamazoo, MI); 7:30 PM

Wednesday, November 7
Ohio at Akron (Akron, OH); 7:30 PM

Thursday, November 8
Louisville at West Virginia (Morgantown, WV); 7:30 PM

Saturday, November 10
Auburn at Georgia (Athens, GA); TBA

Saturday, November 17
Ohio State at Michigan (Ann Arbor, MI); TBA [First choice]
LSU at Ole Miss (Oxford, MS); TBA [Second choice]
Maryland at Florida State (Tallahassee, FL); TBA [Larger data sample=more credibility]

Thursday, November 22
USC at Arizona State (Tempe, AZ); 8:00 PM

Saturday, November 24
Notre Dame at Stanford (Palo Alto, CA); TBA

Saturday, December 1
UCLA at USC (Los Angeles, CA); 4:30 PM

States covered:
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia


Filed under Blogpoll, One CFB Road Trip to rule them all

Blogpoll week of sobbing

Rank Team Delta
2 California
3 South Florida 1
4 Missouri 3
5 Ohio State
6 Boston College 3
7 Cincinnati 10
8 South Carolina 6
9 Arizona State 4
10 Oregon
11 Oklahoma 1
12 Hawaii 7
13 Illinois 3
14 Kansas 12
15 Boise State 10
16 Florida State 10
17 West Virginia 5
18 Virginia Tech 8
19 Indiana 7
20 Texas Tech 6
21 Wisconsin 13
22 Texas A&M 4
23 Kentucky 17
24 Auburn 2
25 Wyoming 1

Dropped Out: Southern Cal (#3), Florida (#11), Georgia (#15), Clemson (#18), Michigan State (#20), Rutgers (#21), Purdue (#23), Kansas State (#24).

This is the worse ballot ever. I don’t even want to talk about it, except two things:

Which of the two loss SEC teams to include? Certainly one of them needed conclusion. Georgia looked good until Fulmer decided he wanted to attack someone with a spiky club. Tennessee suffered two humiliating losses at the beginning of the season, and then now they’re steamrolling? Florida? With two losses in a row? Auburn it is. I think it goes without saying that Alabama and Mississippi State weren’t in the running.

Kansas or Arizona State: One of them doesn’t belong. Perhaps both. But, shit. Have you seen the rest of the Top 25?

The third thing I did not mention I would be mentioning: USC dropping out of the ballot completely is absurd, I suppose. But no one is reeling more, no one is injured more, and no one has looked worse in the past two weeks. And no one’s given up a 4th-and-20 to Tavita Pritchard.

Tavita? Yeah, Tavita.

Fuck. You said it.

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Blogpoll Week Six

Rank Team Delta
1 LSU 25
2 California 24
3 Southern Cal 23
4 South Florida 22
5 Ohio State 21
6 Kentucky 20
7 Missouri 19
8 Wisconsin 18
9 Boston College 17
10 Oregon 16
11 Florida 15
12 Oklahoma 14
13 Arizona State 13
14 South Carolina 12
15 Georgia 11
16 Illinois 10
17 Cincinnati 9
18 Clemson 8
19 Hawaii 7
20 Michigan State 6
21 Rutgers 5
22 West Virginia 4
23 Purdue 3
24 Kansas State 2
25 Boise State 1

Dropped Out:

My impeccable timing allows me to enter into the Blogpoll a priori and post-Apocalyptic Top 25 meltdown. As Mergz of Saurian Sagacity kept saying to me, eyebrows arched and voice tremulous with the deep, dark fear attendant on facing Road Brandon Cox: “Colorado over Oklahoma, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria!” That’s exactly what this poll looks like: mass hysteria.

Right off the bat: USC-LSU as co-number one is now so quaint it’s practically antediluvian. It’s Louisiana State and the rest of us. Tulane first half blip aside, the Tigers scare me so bad I’d probably use a picture of Glenn Dorsey instead of Ex-Lax. Am I bailing on USC? Not entirely. I had them as number two before this weekend and now they’ve dropped to three, getting leapfrogged by the Cal Golden Bears of the University of California-Berkeley, which is in Berkeley. The Oregon that got beat by the inhuman Desean Jackson was not the Oregon of your father, if your father is a year older than you and spent the past couple of seasons watching the Ducks jump out to early season hyperbole only to be shot down by quarterbacking (Leaf as an alternative to anyone?) or the kind of no-hats-or-certain-colors fashion police state employed by some prep schools to avoid death by gang association/retina flare. And if your father is indeed older than you, congratulations: those are some impressive genes you have there if your pop’s seminal vesicles were active at a scant twelve months. High five you virile man child, you.

USC and Ohio State now seem, impossibly, like mirror images of each other: statue quarterbacks with an anonymous wide receiver core and a predictably vicious defense. USC’s tailbacks and Chris Wells manage the same thing as well, which is the untrammeled destruction of the opposing team. USC gets the edge because Pete Carroll could totally steal your wife, while Tressel would just sit at the bar and stare at you and the lady all night before spilling his gin martini on his way to his car. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we all know a single flare from the nostrils of Carroll’s immaculately broken nose has been known to cause Genesis-like flooding in all nearby female genitalia. The resultant poll disparity is the result of Pete’s pheremone domination. So there’s that, Trojan fans. Plus this: don’t ever dress your team up like Notre Dame because you might end up playing like them. Still, it’s not looking good for USC and its week to week infirmary. It’s three weeks of semi-cruising until Autzen. The state of California had better approve and fund stem cell research in the interim because we are dropping like flies with the DNA of Chad Pennington, and we need new organs, people. Think of the children.

Chilo Rachal is now a part of the Make-a-Wish Foundation. His request: tacos.

South Florida is, for lack of a better word, legit. In the New Math South Florida is India: teeming with computer engineers/cheetah-like defenders, eager to break away from sullen, relatively poorer neighbors like Pakistan/Florida State and angling to attain everything their former English/Floridian masters stand for. USF and Indians both like curry, incidentally.

Kentucky, Missouri and Boston College are all grouped together under the heading of THANK GOD MY TEAM DOESN’T HAVE TO PLAY THAT QB. Each one of them could, if found on USC’s schedule, cause my testes to shrink into very, very small testes. Wisconsin seems to be a Texas-like smoke and mirrors operation but they’ve kept it up so far. The only reason I have the Badgers ahead of BC is thanks to the courageous efforts of the Minutemen of UMass, who failed in the whole beating BC thing but succeeded in making the rest of us eye the score with increased scrutiny which, if you’re beating Holy Cross by 10, is about the only thing you can hope for.

Everything else is kinda meh: at this point no one with two losses gets in, and anyone who looks good now – or at least record wise looks good (I’m talking about you, Virginia!) – but got blown out earlier also does not get in. This includes: Miami, Texas A&M, Nebraska, Virginia Tech, Texas, UCLA and other teams too embarrassing to be mentioned (I’m talking about you, Virginia!). There are a few teams who slipped into my ballot that were kinda sorta blown out. Boise State is one of them, losing by two touchdowns to Washington. I suppose the Broncos did get their asses handed to them in the form of Ian Johnson not running for a hundred and the offense not scoring a single point in the second half, but it didn’t feel nearly as bad as the losses suffered by the above teams. West Virginia, on the other hand, was a game that was never really that close – the Bulls’ defense so thoroughly handled the ‘eers it was, occasionally, a boring game even in the student section. That the final outcome was within one score is the only thing keeping them on my ballot. This is not a hard and fast rule, but considering that only five weeks of football have been played it’s pretty hard to forget something like Oklahoma throttling the Canes or UCLA being UCLA.

The only other thing of note: Kansas and Purdue are just toss ups, since they’ve played exactly no one. Also: it’s extraordinarily surreal to be debating about Illinois and Indiana in terms of the Top 25. Indiana misses the cut thanks to a head-to-head loss, and Florida State manages to undo several years of “Ahhh, don’t worry. It’s Florida State,” by beating ‘Bama and seriously meriting consideration in the bottom end of the 25.


EDIT: On second thought, screw Kansas and un-screw Kansas State. That road loss to the Auburn Tigers of War Eagle Plainsmen fame is looking better and better.


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