The Big Question

It really is The Big One, and far more important than the meaning of life (42), why we’re here (to face paint), etc.

Do I go to Knoxville for South Carolina @ Tennessee, or Jacksonville for Florida vs. Georgia? Keep in mind the following:

  • The ‘Cocks and the Vols are both coming off stunning losses.
  • Florida and Georgia are both coming off fantastic wins (Florida over Kentucky, and Georgia over Bye. But before Bye, there was that [previously] foul looking 20-17 win over Vandy, now the proud owners of Spurrier’s visor.)
  • If I go to Jacksonville I’ll have seen Georgia play three times by the end of the season. This was something I wanted to avoid for any team not named USC.
  • If I go to Jacksonville I’ll have been to the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. This was something I wanted to avoid for any period of time in which “avoid” means “flock to with great enthusiasm, dread, sexual longing, etc.”
  • The distance between either city and Hattiesburg, MS – my destination for the next day to watch UCF @ Southern Miss. – is, give or take a tenner or two, 450 miles.
  • I do want to see that checkerboard endzone in person.
  • I don’t want to spend $500 in two days at the Landing.
  • I have a standing offer of residency at Daytona Beach, Fla. for the days leading up to Florida/Georgia. This doesn’t mean much, though, since I’ll be driving from Blacksburg.
  • I have a standing offer of residency with a number of fine bloggers in Tennessee for the days leading up to South Carolina/Tennessee. This doesn’t mean much, though, since Knoxville isn’t Daytona Beach.
  • The purpose of this road trip was to discover lunacy, absurdity, surrealism, grandoise gestures, dark and ugly truths, and every other charactertistic that makes college football the greatest game of all. (That’s not the entire purpose, but for this weekend – the dark and gruesome midsome stretch of the SEC season – that’s really all that’s being considered.) Which game offers me the best chance to do that? Which game should I go to?

I am torn. Help me decide. All aspects will be considered.


Filed under One CFB Road Trip to rule them all, SEC

19 responses to “The Big Question

  1. If you decide to go Tennessee, send my greetings from Tuscaloosa! 41-17.

  2. Gradie

    It’s all about if you can live without seeing UT run through the T before the game and if you don’t feel a need to tailgate with the Vol Navy.

    Against Tennessee is that an orange UT might bring back some bad memories.

    The cocktail party is amazing, and equal representation by two sets of co-eds should not be easily discounted.

  3. Matt

    The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party isn’t only a chance to experience thousands of different alcoholic drinks or coeds clad in sun dresses, its a chance to witness one of the greatest rivalries in college football. Bulldog fans hate Gator fans with a passion. Gator fans hate Bulldog fans with all their might. The teams leave everything on the field. 85,000 fans scream their hearts out displaying the traditions of the two schools. The Red and Black versus the blue and orange… you cannot go wrong with this match-up.

  4. BeauDemon

    Fla-Ga. God wills it.

  5. guilded

    knoxville for sure

  6. I’ll bet if you go to the Florida game, you’ll get to hang out with Swindle. That could be a deal-maker.

  7. Orson bought me a gyro in Stratford-upon-Atlanta. If that sounds odd, you should’ve heard the conversation.

    I am currently leaning towards the Cocktail party. I really don’t want to miss out on Spurrier’s visit to Neyland, but I’m thinking about dropping Auburn @ Georgia and replacing it with Arkansas @ Tennessee, which would not only give me a game at Neyland but allow me to see Houston Nutt play Phil Fulmer in a game of “Who’s getting fired first?!”

    Yes, that does mean I won’t be visiting between the hedges (Hedges?).

    Life’s tough when all you’re doing is driving around watching college football games, getting drunk and trying not to die of the clap, which would be tough anyway since I’m not really sure if you can die from the clap.

  8. beast in 'bama

    Not to go all logistical on you or anything, but consider the drive from Blacksburg to Knoxville vs. the drive from Blacksburg to Jacksonville. That might help your overall state of being.

  9. hoodawg

    Normally I’d say Cocktail Party, but the outcome of the game is so utterly ingrained in college football’s DNA, I’d save UGA/Auburn on your sked and go to Knoxvegas. That way, you’ll see two competitive games, one great college town (none if you go to Jax then Knoxvegas), and get more time in the South (Florida doesn’t count).

    Oh, and it’s impossible to spend $500 at the Landing. The lines are too long. The way to go? Score an invite to a boat pulled up along the river – if you do that, ignore all of the above and get thee to the Cocktail Party.

  10. Matt

    If you sacrifice a game Between the Hedges by going to Georgia-Florida, you should check out Neyland. Its a cool stadium and the atmosphere is rocking, but Athens and the atmosphere at the Georgia-Auburn game is something that is hard to miss. If I were you (and I’m a little biased), I would choose Jacksonville AND Athens, but you miss an opportunity to see a huge, loud stadium in Knoxville.

  11. hoodawg

    Can’t disagree with Matt’s analysis. Oh, and if you do happen to see Georgia beat Florida in Jacksonville, “there’s going to be some property destroyed” that night, as a wise man once said.

  12. I think you can die of syphilis, but you’d really have to be ignoring some big-time symptoms to get that far.

    “Hm… didn’t I have a nose when I went to bed? Oh well, never mind.”

  13. Hmmm.

    As your part time host/ticket benefactor at the Florida-Auburn game, we certainly wouldn’t mind you visiting with us again. Be assured our tailgate at Jax will be first rate.

    However, we did lose that game. Could it be you are bad luck?

    If you are coming to Jax, let me know, and I will guide you to our tailgate fiesta.

  14. Wombat

    I’ve never been to a SEC game but if I had to pick one to go, it’d be the cocktail party for sure.

  15. I think having the father of Auburn’s game winning kicker at your tailgate had more to do with the loss than me. I was just there to take a beer bong to my dome, not cause karmic backlash.

  16. To paraphrase you, “All aspects are considered”, including aspects of Karma in this case.

    But as you rightfully point out, any bad luck you could have contributed was vastly outweighed by the Auburn kicker’s father. Hell, maybe your presence made it closer than it ought to have been.

    Thus, you are certainly invited to quaff beer with me should you decide to go the Jax route.

  17. Tristan


    I just started reading 82Sluggo this past week. Goodness gracious, mercy me. . . I haven’t stopped laughing since Monday. I’ve read a few of your articles more than twice.

    All I want to say is this:

    you have GOT to have some of the most capital problems known to American-kind! I’d like just ONE of them. NOW!

    Whatever the city, venue, Ms. Right-Now. . . . I hope you have a spectacular time. I “clap” in your general direction. (southeasterly?)

  18. Goodness Gracious?

    Mercy Me?

    Brady, is that you?

  19. Tristan


    (either) No, way! Not even close. (or) Sure, why not?

    hint: what part of T-r-i-s-t-a-n has you confused?

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