Arian (sic) brotherhoods and baby seals and angels, oh my!

From today’s Daily Trojan…

Junior linebacker Clay Matthews created the Facebook group, “White Nation,” which featured a graphic with the caption, “arrest black babies before they become criminals.”

Teammates David Buehler, Brian Cushing, Dan Deckas and Dallas Sartz joined the group.

“This group is not for the faint of heart,” read the group’s description. “All members are athletes of Caucasion (sic) descent. DISCLAIMER: In no way are the following memebers (sic) intolerant of others, we are just doing our duty of protecting the Arian (sic) brotherhood.”

An athletic department source who wished to remain anonymous said the group was a joke and had no serious purpose.

Before I espouse on the lunacy of creating a Facebook group calling itself “White Nation” when you have Sedrick Ellis on your team…

Sed enjoys playing Xbox 360, listening to music, hanging with friends and wrestling polar bears.

… let me first point out what Ellis himself had to say.

Football player Sedrick Ellis sent [Stefanie] Gopaul [the USC student who initiated the response to Matthews’ group] a message explaining that “White Nation” is an inside joke on the team and that Matthews is not racist.

OK. Fair enough. Someone needs to tell the anonymous sources at Heritage Hall to go over their statements with a red marker, though.

A source from the athletic department said Matthew’s apology said he was sorry, and that the group was not serious and had no racist intent. He also said his roommate and best friend are black and said that it was poor judgment on his part to create the group.

Aside from the awkward construction of the first sentence (“a source… said Matthew’s apology said he was sorry”?), there’s a whole lotta awkwardness in the second sentence. I suppose it needed to be said, but as it is the statement sounds like a really bad joke/attempt at PC equivocation/PR blunder so horrendous it demands you shoot those responsible in the face.

Then there’s the confusing matter of this…

When Matthews left the “White Nation” Facebook group, he gave up his ability to delete the group; an administrator must manually remove each member to delete the group.

Matthew James Hodgson, a senior from Occidental College, now runs the group and said he plans on using the group to educate people about the ignorance of racism.

“(My friends and I joined) because we did not agree with the white supremacist sentiment of the group,” Hodgson said. “We wanted to make the other people feel uncomfortable. I assumed control of the group with the intention to continue this process and make it known that this kind of group is unacceptable.”

The membership includes three Occidental students and five other members from regional or high school networks nationwide. No USC students remain in the group.

The DT does nay enlighten: is Hodgson now running the initial White Nation group or the “Clay Matthews (USC football player) expresses anti-black sentiment” group Gopaul created in response to Matthews’ boneheaded attempt at social networking? If it’s the former, how does that “educate people about the ignorance of racism”? And if it’s the latter, how does that educate people about the ignorance of racism? Seems to me that the creation of a group called “Clay Matthews (USC football player) expresses anti-black sentiment” isn’t about racial awareness, it’s about fucking with a guy named Clay Matthews. Since Gopaul discovered the group through her Facebook friendship with Dallas Sartz and Brian Cushing, and they were members of the group, why not call it “Clay Matthews, Dallas Sartz, Brian Cushing, the kicker and some walk-on express anti-black sentiment”?

You want my opinion on this whole thing? No? Too bad, because here it comes:

Waah.

We all engage in racial humor, especially amongst our friends. If you don’t you really should try it. There’s nothing funnier than a joke that makes you feel guilty. I don’t want to hear some punchline about puppies or blueberry pies. I want to hear the best Asian, Mexican, black and white jokes you can muster, and then I want to counter that joke with its racial opposite, and then we can hug in the bathing afterglow of relative racial equality through vicious but fairly distributed pejoratives. And then we bring it the scatology.

And then we create a group called “White Nation is a monstrously stupid group to have around, plus it kills baby seals. Beat Notre Dame! Woo!”, celebrating the move with an impromptu party with a shot luge. I bet that would’ve made Matthews feel stupid because, hey, who wants dead baby seals? And everybody can support beating Notre Dame and wooing and drinking hard alcohol via an elaborate ice sculpture.

And let’s not lose focus: Matthews is stupid because…

1. He did create a group called White Nation whose “purpose” was to protect “the Arian (sic) brotherhood” and, if circumstances allowed, “arrest black babies before they become criminals”. That’s not only stupid, it’s not actually funny. Then again, most inside jokes aren’t very funny. Potato!
2. As a USC linebacker in a decent position on the depth charts, he actually is pretty high profile as Facebook profiles go.
3. Facebook is pretty high profile as social networking sites go.
4. He clearly should’ve created a Facebook group called “Stefanie Gopaul (USC freshman majoring in psychology) expresses anti-Clay Matthews sentiment” and everyone would have laughed, including some babies, and then maybe an angel would’ve gotten its wings.

So thanks, Clay Matthews. You just denied some poor cherub his method of transportation.

And, finally, let’s allow Ms. Gopaul to orchestrate the coda…

“I really do believe that it was a joke,” Gopaul said. “Racial tension is already here at ‘SC, and a lot of people were upset that he wasn’t punished. I was never out to punish him, but a lot of students who saw the group wanted that.”

Well, good thing you didn’t create a group called “Clay Matthews (USC football player) expresses anti-black sentiment”. Because then I’d think you were trying to draw punitive attention towards Clay Matthews (USC football player). And besides: isn’t being forced to attend school with psychology majors punishment enough?